Fours years ago we were told the unimaginable. After receiving devastating news, our idea of becoming new parents changed drastically. We had decorated a beautiful room to welcome him home. We received parenting advice from family and friends. We had his clothes washed, his bath accessories cleaned and had researched all we could about nursing, sleep schedules…all the things!
Everything we had learned became irrelevant and our venture into parenthood took a much different route.
Though we never heard Rhodes cry, Joe and I still took every hour we had to love on our child physically. We shared him with family, friends, co-workers, nurses, hospital personnel. It brings me to tears thinking about how many people Rhodes impacted. I like to think it was because Joe and I knew we had a special child and we had the presence of mind to share him with whomever wanted to meet him.
In the past four years, we have learned of other families who have had a sudden infant loss and each time I so badly wish I could tell those parents our son’s story. I wish I could tell them how we cried so much but we also celebrated 32 hrs with our little big guy. And those 32 hours were so very critical for our healing. I find it remarkable that Joe and I were able to feel joy during an earth shattering time. There is no doubt that God gave us the strength to celebrate our son in such a short period of time.
Recently, I wrote a letter to a family who lost their baby-
My heart breaks for your sweet family. I don’t know what occurred but I know that today is devastating. How I wish there were words to ease just an ounce of heartache.
The only thing I know is that God is present. In your anger, despair, hopelessness...HE is there.
I’m writing this to let you know there are survivors from such a horrific, unthinkable loss.
I am very thankful we did certain things with our son before our earthly time with him ended.
We took over 300 photos with him, some with friends and family holding him. I (his mother) even smiled in a couple of those photos because I was so in awe of my son’s beauty and his size. I wanted to show my future kids pictures of their big brother with a proud mom and dad. My favorite picture is a photo of our son’s fingers gripping his mom and dad’s hands.
We took pictures of him with his personalized quilt.
We took prints of his hands and feet. Put them on paper, molded it in clay and stamped them on a football and basketball.
We changed his clothes multiple times. He wore his coming home outfit. He wore a UK outfit. He wore the sweetest blue and white shoes.
We swaddled him numerous times.
We prayed over him.
I slept next to him.
We sang to him.
We had visitors (family, as well as friends) come and meet our son.
I rocked him.
We clipped a lock of his hair.
I put lotion on him.
I wish I had read him a book. I don’t know why I cling to that but I wish I had.
I write this because today was not suppose to happen. Today is the unimaginable. Cherish these hours you have. My husband and I brag about the 32 hours we got to snuggle our son and show him off.
We are praying for your sweet family.
I share this letter because we live in a broken world and our son’s story may help another family find joy and create memories during an unimaginable loss.
We have had two healthy babies since August 3rd, 2015. Each pregnancy was great. I didn’t worry that the unimaginable could possibly occur. We were thankful with each pregnancy. Our joy always outweighed any fear we may have had.
August 3rd, is a tough day for our little family. We get through the hard stuff by remembering the joy and love we felt that day.
rhodesedward 